How To Grow Sweet Peas From Seed – According to Gav’s Mum
2nd March 2021
Free To Be Me On IG. And that goes for you too. 🙂
I have seen so much on Instagram lately, about comparison and feelings of inadequacy – and while I have always found IG to be a place of happy inspiration, I found myself questioning it all last week, and definitely had a crisis of confidence. Am I good enough? Do I match up to the others? Am I doing ok? And then I got to thinking – It CAN’T just be me thinking this?
Whether or not Instagram is your ‘job’ or if it’s just a lovely hobby, I am certain you will most probably have felt like me? We all know that the little squares are not actually always a true representation of real life, they are a little glossy snapshot. We all know that, right? But being constantly bombarded by perfection is going to have a cumulative effect at some point, isn’t it?
I had got to the point where I wasn’t posting images I love, incase they weren’t good enough – I was nervous to post, incase it wasn’t a good enough image, compared to the others when you are scrolling through your news feed & I felt a bit quashed.
I absolutely love to look at curated feeds and really admire how they are done. They look so slick and professional and gorgeous. But when I compared them to my grid, I felt like I was failing. And I am thinking I can’t be the only one to feel like this. I have a big account, I shouldn’t be shy or nervous and I definitely shouldn’t compare myself to others right? We all know the rules. We all know and we would all advise each other to not compare. But we are also all human and its natural to, isn’t it?
We also all know that the squares are just glimpses in to life and that there’s an awful lot of life that we aren’t being shown, too. No one’s life is perfect. Even if that’s what the grid might suggest. We all KNOW that, but I think the cumulative effect of lots of beautiful feeds (and this is in NO WAY knocking anyone’s feed, as everyone’s gallery is individual to them and put together with the flair of the person behind the account) anyway I think it can have a negative effect after a while and a RESET is needed, well that’s how I felt at least!
It made me ask ‘Do I change?’ CAN I change?
And after a swift Instagram pole, the results were a landslide – DO NOT CHANGE!! And I think ANYONE doing a pole asking the same thing, would get the same result. People like you for being YOU. Whatever the YOU is.
We are all individual, no none is a no one, we all have a story to tell and a voice that deserves to be heard. And if its packaged up in a glossy way or a …not glossy way… that is OK!! There really is room for everyone and we all gravitate to different people.
I can’t tell you the relief I felt to be given permission to carry on being unashamedly myself. And I am thinking I need to pass that on!!
I love that you enjoy coming on axe murderer swamp walks with me. I love that you love The Barbaras and I love that you appreciate a good faff. I love that I can tell you about all that stuff, and I also love that I can just rabbit to you about blood cancer and cry a bit and no one minds. Not everyone will be interested, and we can’t all be interested in everyone – especially now the world has shrunk and we can peep in to lives all over the world! It would take all day to catch up with everyone!
So, here it is in black and white – LET’S JUST DO US. You do you, I’ll do me. And yeah you KNOW I tidy the kitchen up just to take a pic. And you can also be very sure that there’s a huge pile of washing just out of shot. My grid won’t match, because I am far too flighty and shoot from the hip, but how BORING would life be, if we were all the same!
Let’s post what we like when we want. Yes there will be a few ads on my grid (another thing thats made me anxious) but I had the loveliest message today along the lines of
‘Thank you for showing me that ‘X” I know it was an AD, but I trust you and now I have ‘X’ and I am so happy you told me!’
TRUST. Vital. So instead of stressing that everyone hates ads, I am going to be confident in what I show you, but never take your trust for granted. If I tell you the shoes are comfy, I promise I find them comfy, if I say size up, it’s because I am trying to help you get the right size. And if I say I like something, I PROMISE I DO. And instead of worrying, I am owning those ads!
Doesn’t mean there will suddenly be heaps more – as I also accept that there can be a cumulative dislike of ads in general when you are scrolling and you see, I dunno, 4 ads for the same thing (or any thing) in a row. THAT is annoying. Equally – side note – think the brands and PR agencies need to make sure that the ads going live, are staggered so we don’t all see back to back ads on our feeds. Difficult to do now we aren’t chronological any more but if we can get a man to the moon SURELY someone can figure that out!
Anyway – the whole AD debacle is definitely a post for anther day.
I really just want to tell you it’s ok to be YOU – because you told me it’s ok to be me! I think we all need to be more confident in being ourselves. Because it’s exhausting trying to be someone we aren’t or something we aren’t!
And I feel SO much better for putting it out there and ASKING. Problem shared and all that.
Fancy a new hashtag to free us all up? #FreeToBeMeOnIg If you want to smash it out of the park with a killer shot, or a tidy kitchen – HURRAH! If you want to photograph your lunch or your dog HURRAH! If you want to show us your messy kitchen, HURRAH! Whatever you fancy whenever you fancy it! HURRAH AND AMEN to that. And hurrah for Stories where I LOVE the freedom of chatting to you.
Omg Suddenly have the urge to stand naked on a mountain with my bra waving in the breeze (tastefully shot from a distance OBVS!!)
Will recycle this from last weekend. That’ll have to do for now and it’s as near as I’ll get to standing naked on a mountain – anyway its a metaphor lol
As ever
THANKYOU for reading – tell me what you think? I am really interested to know!!
Love
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I am a proper grown up but this week also got me questioning my own life mainly prompted by posts I had seen on Instagram. You know the ones with the perfect house, perfect tree etc etc. Life has been pretty full on here and corners have been cut and some of the spinning plates dropped. I found myself wondering why my life wasn’t like X or Y and how come they always looked happy and in control …. like I said I am a proper grown up so why was I feeling like this. It’s tsken a while to shake off if I am honest but I gave myself a talking to and normal service has been resumed.
And if we feel like this, proper grown ups and all – my worry is how it filters down to the children – we are savvy enough to give ourselves a talking to, the kids are maybe not as well equipped to do that. If someone is making me feel anxious that I am not good enough, I imagine after they post, they watch daytime tv in old jarmies, swig coke out of a 2 litre bottle, gnaw on a mars bar and belch. HAHA! xx
First of all, adore your feed and with the masses when we say don’t change. As you know, it’s been a dreadful, awful year for my loved one on social media. Trial by SM is lethal and ugly. She did ‘curate’ her photographs and held her hands up but it’s a thin line being given a product to sell and make it look attractive for whatever agency; when people advertise cars, don’t they use photoshop to make the car gleam in the sun. When chefs have food photos don’t they saturate their photos to make the food tasty. I think it’s all about, as a person, having a string core. A steady ground to state who you are and be unashamed. We never know the back story of most people on Instagram as for most it’s personal. So we never know how they might have got to a place of insecurity or anxiety or confidence. Whatever. You tell a story. You are so very real and that is to your complete credit and your confidence. I think it’s a battle with business accounts. Us mere mortals who just put up photos willy nilly need no soul searching. With the likes of you and others, it becomes something that cannot be slapdash. You must notice as my girl does that certain images get more ‘likes’. The ones that hit the heart. The #AD not so much because people are beginning g, asyou say, to be saturated with certain ads because of algorithms etc. Sally, you are gorgeous and interesting and vibrant. As is my darling. She has literally had to start again from rock bottom and to be honest I don’t know how long this world of Instagram will last. This is all over the place as it’s been a tough year caused by epos ure on Social Media. There needs to be much more security from hate campaigns and false accounts and more freedom with algorithms. Hope you get my drift in all this xxxxxx keep on giving us joy. You one of the squares that I relish
I totally understand Brenda, what a nightmare – and it affects everyone I imagine – and so hard for you watching it unfold and trying to hold it all together. I also completely agree – trying to be myself, while speaking through my IG on behalf of a brand for an AD and engaging my followers, is like spinning plates – I understand people trust me and I’d never mess with that. And your daughter is a credit to herself and to you for coming out the other side xxxx
Thank you xxxx
What a refreshing thing to read Sally! I feel the same. I would hate to think that anyone felt shit after looking at my feed and that’s why I try to show the rough with the smooth! I love your account. You manage the balance so well.
Dear Cara, my comment to Sally, below, applies also to you. <3
I think the balance lies in the stories – and yours has the perfect balance xxx
Dear Sally,
I love this post. My IG has no images. I am a private person and, on IG, that means the tag I wear over there is “Lurker.” But, as a lurker, I can say your account is my very favourite, and by far. I thought it was curated as it is of “outstanding quality.” If you tried to be like the others, you would make it mediocre. We love Sally and Sally’s mind and Sally’s creativity and Sally’s originality. You are your own brand, now. And it’s a brand that has added so much to my life, your ads. included. DO NOT CHANGE, anything, unless your creativity tells you to. Even your mess looks amazing. Now shove that doubt bug in the aga and forget about it.
Lots of love, you stunningly, beautiful creature, from Jane xxx
Wow! thank you Jane ! It’s firmly in the Aga with a jacket potato that’s been in there for longer than was necessary… Charcoal is good for you though right? hehe xxxxx thank you xxx
You were one of the firwt people i followed on insta, and anytime i have messaged you, you have always replied and your wittyness shines through! Keep doing what you are doing x
ahhh Karen thank you ! That’s really lovely of you to say xx
Loved this. As someone relatively new to Instagram I’m a little unsure what to post and when I see all the lovely feeds out there I can feel a little scared with thoughts of “how boring” and “who would want to see that”? But after reading this, I’m just going to do me and post what I want whether someone likes it or not. It doesn’t matter. It’s the taking part that counts. Love your account, one of the first ones I followed.
yay! and that is what its all about – you do you ! Dive in and enjoy being you xx